Saturday, January 23, 2016

The Hillary Perp Walk

The Hillary Perp Walk may never happen.  It is obvious that at least one person in the FBI is still not convinced Hillary did anything actually "illegal" when she stored sensitive classified information on, and conducted business from, her home email server.

Sure, they'll tell you they are reviewing all the details.  Just like they are busy rounding up the ISIS terrorists and violent cartel thugs that they allowed into the country and who now walk among us.

On the slight chance charges will be brought, here is one way it may play out. 
Jan 30 - two days before the Iowa Caucus: An ABC exclusive interview with the surviving family members of Vince Foster. The Hillary campaign goes into damage control.  A 'War Room' is setup at the campaign headquarters.

Jan 31 - the day before the Iowa Caucus: The FBI interrupts a Hillary campaign event to confiscate her passport and order her to remain in the country.

Feb 7 - two days before the New Hampshire primary:  NBC announces the first of a 12-part series: "The Clinton Women."  The first 2-hour special airs with Juanita Broderick.

Feb 8 - the day before the New Hampshire primary: The FBI conducts a raid on Hillary's house to search for evidence.  Agents are seen carting out dozens of boxes to FBI trucks.  Unrelated, an NBC executive dies in a car accident.
Feb 18 - two days before the Nevada primary: CBS interviews Clinton's largest donors.  First question: "When you gave Hillary $x million dollars, what were you paying for?"  Follow-up question: "Do you think that money was well spent?"

Feb 19 - the day before the Nevada primary:  Hillary is ordered to give a deposition.  Her suggestion "it depends on what the meaning of 'is' is" falls flat.
At this point, lets assume Hillary has bought secured the nomination.

Jul 23 - two days before the Democrat Party Convention:  CNN Exclusive: The Clinton Body Count.  An in-depth, 5-part series reviewing the suspicious deaths surrounding the Clintons.  CNN uses this list of dead people as its outline. Extra attention is given to the death of Charles Wilbourne Miller who committed suicide with two guns, and to Gary Webb who committed suicide with two shots to the head.

Jul 24 - one day before the Democrat Party Convention:  A contingent of FBI agents are seen checking-in at the same hotel Hillary will be staying at.  Liberals Progressives Communists at Daily Kos, Mother Jones, and MSNBC are outraged.  "Why didn't they arrest Hillary months ago?" will be the top Google search of the day.

Jul 28 - the last day of the Democrat Party Convention:  Hillary's pangender spokesperson reports there is no truth to the rumor that the FBI and Hillary's Secret Service detail had a stand-off in the hotel hallway outside her room, prior to her acceptance speech.  "It was just a misunderstanding among two dedicated federal agencies."

Jul 29:  The Clinton campaign announces it will not offer a calendar of events for the remainder of the campaign, but will instead "drop-in on everyday Americans across the country in order to engage on the important issues facing this country."  Polls show Hillary 22 points behind the Republican candidate.  Internet rumors suggest she will be re-inventing herself next week.

Oct 18:  A warrant is issued for Hillary's arrest.  Charges include murder, disclosure of sensitive information and intimidation of witnesses.  Hillary is encouraged to turn herself in.  She releases a statement saying "The Republicans are behind this.  We will resolve this immediately as we continue our campaign to restore dignity to America's working class families." Polls are steady with Hillary 24% of likely voters, and the Republican at 73%.

Nov 2:  Hillary suffers an undisclosed seizure and medical injury and is rushed to the hospital, where the FBI take custody.  She is surrounded by family and friends who ask that she not be disturbed.  Supporters, Chief Justice John Roberts and House Speaker Paul Ryan all suggest the election be postponed, but they are too late.

Well.  That was therapeutic.


David said...

Alternate scenario: Since laws are for the little people (and Martha Stewart, Scooter Libby, and David Petraeus), this will all be made to go away.

I don't believe Obama's DOJ will allow her to be indicted, and if she were to be indicted there will be no trial. (Procedural gobbledygook, charges dropped.)

If there is a trial, judges and jurors will earn exorbitant bribes, and she will never be convicted.

If she were convicted, she would be immediately pardoned by her buddy, President Trump.

Royalty don't let other royalty go to prison.

Aaron said...

You left out the part where Obama pardons Hillary - to sink her nomination while seeming to be doing her a favor, as the lat unkind cut of the Obama-Clinton feud.

Or, he does it to ensure the scandal gets dropped and he pardons her while announcing it's to avoid a distraction of a "right-wing generated faux scandal" and she can get on with campaigning with the media whitewashing the whole thing. In which case it means she let him know she's got the goods on him and will release the hounds if he doesn't.

Karl said...

Agree - she won't see a day in prison. Yes, I left out a likely pardon. I wanted to imagine the most psychologically draining scenario possible, not necessarily a realistic one.

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