Our dear leader has to take the podium this week and, in doublespeak, tell us how great the state of the union is in 2014. These are moments when we cherish the fact that we cancelled cable.
We suspect his speech will be as coherent as that 5-page book report I wrote in high school the day before it was due about a book that I didn't read.
I'm toying with the idea of live-blogging the speech if I can find a streaming link, but this decision will be heavily weighed against options such as: 1) clipping my toenails, 2) going to bed early, 3) going out in the sub-zero weather for a 10-mile run.
So in case we miss the speech, here are some images floating around the interwebs that you might get a kick out of:
Fawstin: "This is how an American sits through an Obama statist of the union speech"
From FB Comrade J: (Warning: this might be an old image that was used for previous state of the union speeches...)