Friday, February 27, 2015

Net Neutrality

The FCC enacted Net Neutrality yesterday.  The Internet is now a public utility.  Congress had some questions, but the FCC Commission Chairman, Tom Wheeler, knew an ambush on our entire system was planned and wisely declined.

Things may be slow here at Ushanka for a while.

Despite rumors to the contrary, the FCC has released the new rules.  Our people are reviewing the new rules for future blogging now, and are anxious to comply.

One new rule: we must now open every post with:  

"We celebrate our beloved [you may substitute: "dear"] leader of Oceania and the symbol of the Party."

We must direct two minutes of hate at EastAsia Eurasia for their recent sneak attack against our homeland.  I did this prior to submitting this post for approval.  I ask that you do so now.  Please look into your computer's camera when you unleash your hate for EastAsia Eurasia.  And... begin.

This nice portrait arrived with the new blogging rules.  I have carefully removed the protective packaging and have hung it in a prominent location within view of my computer's camera.  As recommended.

I look forward to a new Internet free from all the things that have plagued it in the past.

I condemn the new attempts by straight white males to build their own Internet in response to the dear leader's directive.  To them I say, "You already built one Internet.  And one is enough."

Some might say this is the end of free speech, but I suggest --REDACTED BY NEWSPEAK AGENT #433--.


Updated 5 minutes later...

BREAKING: We, along with our allies in Eurasia, are now at war with EastAsia.


Time to re-read 1984....


UPDATED 2.28 10am:

I've updated my Obama Checklist.  Just a few things left for him to do.

More from FB Comrades:

And Comrade Aurini shares his thoughts, with special guest Chief Wiggum.

UPDATED 2.28 7pm:

Amen sister.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Just like that an entity made by private parties is a government utility. Just like that 40 years of pension protection (Erisa law) is erased. But you have no pension, so you don't care. But you don't use the internet much, so you don't care. Your rifle doesn't use 855 ammo, so you don't care. Soon they'll take something from you. Should I care?