1) Because the rest of the world hates us, andMr. Burr makes the first convincing argument to root for the US soccer team I've heard.
2) Because no more than 40 will show up to the victory parade.
Comrade and hat owner, Tam, also posted on the subject:
It involves a lot of running around, produces little (in the way of score), there's pleading with capricious officials, and it's desperate to be accepted by America. Soccer, it's like a metaphor for the rest of the world!
UPDATED 6.24.14 7am:
Did Al Gore realize this is the stuff I'd find on his Internet?
I haven't laughed that hard in a while.